yucky

I should start off by mentioning that it's that time of the month and for me, that means my ocd has more kick than usual and it takes me extra energy and work to stay on top of it, which is hard to do when you are menstrating, have anemia, got about 4 choppy hours of sleep and have a headache. 
Needless to say, I was doing much better in terms of my wellness but today was not so great and my only word to accurately describe what I felt all day long was "yuck" as I had a lurking sense of dread, worries, judgements. 

When I woke up with our daughter this morning, on the Today Show, there was a 16 y/o boy who had been a victim of a horrific burning incident from 3 other boys a year prior and he has now completely recovered, this is a very inspiring story but at the same time I felt so much pain for this little boy, and how traumatic this must have been for him and his family then....I thought about someone doing this horrific act to our daughter and it got stuck in my head for a good amount of the morning (3 hours or so) and even though I know better, I became so upset with the images in my head it was hard to look at my daughter at moments, I became angry with myself for not getting the thought out of my head and letting it get stuck/locked....(I know the better solution would be to just accept the thought instead of trying to remove it) but it's harder to do when you are tired and haven't prepared to be faced with such a horrifyng scenario my initial reaction was to break down in tears.
I remained semiparanoid for the remainder of the day, more paranoid that usual.
I know I have some more work to do in terms of this and I know the work really does help a lot (Exposure Response Prevention/coupled with learning to accept uncertainty) but like I said, some days staying on top of these things is harder than others and today was just one of those days.