It's been a rough week with the weather and I have not had a chance to get out of the house much, today, I didn't leave at all, last week, I went three days without leaving the house because the roads are so terrible. Being stuck in a house all day long, with my daughter for a very short period of daylight is like a breeding ground for OCD, not to mention feeling fatigue from a lack of stimulation and conversation (toddler babble can only do so much for me....and I feel like an ungrateful mother saying this, possibly leading to me losing my daughter for this utter and selfish lack of appreciation for our conversations). If OCD is like athletes foot, my foot is moist, hot and wrapped in a sock!!!!
Since my last therapy session, I have been doing better at not trying to do an exposure when I'm already stuck in an OCD cycle....instead I respond "I'm not playing" when a thought or worry pops in my head. That has been working so the OCD has begun to go toward even more vulnerable places for a cheaper shot. All day long it said: "you are a terrible mother, your Aubrey is so sweet and innocent and you are failing her all day long just by being you because you are a bad, damaged, charcoaled person, you break her heart in all of her moments with everything you do and feel."
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